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Chelsea parents adjust to life with autistic child
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Parents eagerly watch for first smiles and first words as their babies grow. They enjoy watching their toddlers sample new foods. Parents and children do simple things together, like grocery shopping, attending church, or visiting the park.
Michael and Andrea Bareis, long-time Chelsea School District educators and parents of three girls, expected to continue to their typical lifestyle when their son, Grant, was born nearly three years ago. But instead, watching his development left them with a gnawing suspicion that something was not right. And by the time he was 18 months old, that suspicion had become an icy fear.
“Grant never responded to his name,” Andrea said. “But his hearing checked out okay. He was able to say about 10 words, but then he suddenly stopped talking. He stopped eating any food except for pretzels. Instead, he ate sand, wood and rocks. He started banging his head, flapping his arms, lining up his toys, and having tantrums.”
When these behaviors first began, medical professionals told the Bareis’ that they had nothing to worry about. Excuses such as “he’s a boy” and “he’ll grow out of it” were an attempt to reassure the parents, but Andrea said that her experience as a teacher and as a mother of three other chil-dren told her that something was wrong.
In October 2009, Andrea’s friend and Grant’s godmother, Patty McCarthy, invited her to hear Dr. Richard Solomon speak at the Ann Arbor Public Library.
“When he showed his videos, I thought, ‘There’s my son!’” Bareis said.
In what she considers a minor miracle in avoiding the average six to 12 month wait to see the specialist, Solomon evaluated Grant in November and diagnosed him with autism.
“It was hard to hear the words and realize it’s true – it’s done,” she said.
The Bareis family learned that autism is a neurological disorder, with therapy similar to therapies used for people with brain injuries. Grant’s PLAY (Play and Language for Autistic Youth) therapy began in December.
“We have to be taught how to play with him to get any interaction and to promote engagement and language,” Michael Bareis said. Continued...
Michael and Andrea Bareis, long-time Chelsea School District educators and parents of three girls, expected to continue to their typical lifestyle when their son, Grant, was born nearly three years ago. But instead, watching his development left them with a gnawing suspicion that something was not right. And by the time he was 18 months old, that suspicion had become an icy fear.
“Grant never responded to his name,” Andrea said. “But his hearing checked out okay. He was able to say about 10 words, but then he suddenly stopped talking. He stopped eating any food except for pretzels. Instead, he ate sand, wood and rocks. He started banging his head, flapping his arms, lining up his toys, and having tantrums.”
When these behaviors first began, medical professionals told the Bareis’ that they had nothing to worry about. Excuses such as “he’s a boy” and “he’ll grow out of it” were an attempt to reassure the parents, but Andrea said that her experience as a teacher and as a mother of three other chil-dren told her that something was wrong.
In October 2009, Andrea’s friend and Grant’s godmother, Patty McCarthy, invited her to hear Dr. Richard Solomon speak at the Ann Arbor Public Library.
“When he showed his videos, I thought, ‘There’s my son!’” Bareis said.
In what she considers a minor miracle in avoiding the average six to 12 month wait to see the specialist, Solomon evaluated Grant in November and diagnosed him with autism.
“It was hard to hear the words and realize it’s true – it’s done,” she said.
The Bareis family learned that autism is a neurological disorder, with therapy similar to therapies used for people with brain injuries. Grant’s PLAY (Play and Language for Autistic Youth) therapy began in December.
“We have to be taught how to play with him to get any interaction and to promote engagement and language,” Michael Bareis said. Continued...
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Grant receives only one PLAY visit a month, because at $400 for a three-hour visit, it’s a hefty bill. Andrea described the disappointment of another setback.
“Grant started feeding therapy at Mott Children’s Hospital in November, but after four sessions, we were asked not to bring him back because he had other overwhelming issues. It’s heart-breaking to think your child is finally going to be helped, and then to be turned away. We hope that at some point, he’ll be able to go back when the time is right.”
Bareis said that Dr. Solomon has told them that for Grant to have a fighting chance, he should have at least 25 hours of one-on-one therapy each week.
“We can afford two hours a week at the Autism Collaborative Center,” she said.
Michigan does not mandate that insurance companies pay for autism therapy. As a result, most insurance companies, including the Blue Cross/Blue Shield plan that Michael receives through the Chelsea School District, do not cover any treatment.
The family pays for Grant’s therapy out of their pocket. And it’s a tough balance to also provide for a family of six on one public school teacher’s salary.
Since Grant’s autistic behaviors began, life has changed for the Bareis family.
“When you have a new baby, you expect it to be difficult,” Bareis said. “But you think it’s going to be the normal difficult. Grant’s autism has divided our family. One of us does things with the girls (such as going to the store, to church, or the girls’ softball games) while the other one stays home with Grant.”
Bareis said it has been hard on their daughters, too.
“Every night the twins pray that Grant will learn to talk,” she said. “And I have to spend so much time with Grant – I have had to become his therapist instead of just his mom. Meghan says, ‘You never play with me – you always play with Grant.’ It’s hard to hear that, when giving one child what he needs means you’re not giving to the others.” Continued...
“Grant started feeding therapy at Mott Children’s Hospital in November, but after four sessions, we were asked not to bring him back because he had other overwhelming issues. It’s heart-breaking to think your child is finally going to be helped, and then to be turned away. We hope that at some point, he’ll be able to go back when the time is right.”
Bareis said that Dr. Solomon has told them that for Grant to have a fighting chance, he should have at least 25 hours of one-on-one therapy each week.
“We can afford two hours a week at the Autism Collaborative Center,” she said.
Michigan does not mandate that insurance companies pay for autism therapy. As a result, most insurance companies, including the Blue Cross/Blue Shield plan that Michael receives through the Chelsea School District, do not cover any treatment.
The family pays for Grant’s therapy out of their pocket. And it’s a tough balance to also provide for a family of six on one public school teacher’s salary.
Since Grant’s autistic behaviors began, life has changed for the Bareis family.
“When you have a new baby, you expect it to be difficult,” Bareis said. “But you think it’s going to be the normal difficult. Grant’s autism has divided our family. One of us does things with the girls (such as going to the store, to church, or the girls’ softball games) while the other one stays home with Grant.”
Bareis said it has been hard on their daughters, too.
“Every night the twins pray that Grant will learn to talk,” she said. “And I have to spend so much time with Grant – I have had to become his therapist instead of just his mom. Meghan says, ‘You never play with me – you always play with Grant.’ It’s hard to hear that, when giving one child what he needs means you’re not giving to the others.” Continued...
Michael said that he hopes one positive outcome to Grant’s autism will be that their daughters will grow up to be more sensitive and compassionate to the needs of others.
The Bareis family said said that they have been blessed to receive so much support from the Chelsea community as a result of Grant’s autism. They hope that people will learn more about the disorder, look at autistic children without judgment, and understand that they also have unique strengths.
“We’re grieving,” Andrea said. “We’ve lost the perfect child. When you realize the hopes and dreams you had for your child are probably not possible … we just want him to have a fighting chance for the best possible life. Dr. Solomon says that we have to adopt a marathon attitude and not give up.”
Crystal Hayduk is a freelance writer for Heritage Newspapers.
Fundraiser
A golf outing, buffet lunch, and auctions (silent and live) will be held to raise funds to benefit Grant Bareis and others at the Autism Collaborative Center.
Where: Reddeman Farms Golf Club, 555 South Dancer Road, Chelsea
When: Aug. 7
What: Golf round - shotgun start at 8 a.m., includes snack, beverages, and buffet lunch/auction; $100 per golfer. Lunch and auction only at 1 p.m., $25 per person.
Call Patty at Reddeman Farms at 1-734-475-3020, or send an e-mail to takeaswingatau-tism@yahoo.com to register. Continued...
The Bareis family said said that they have been blessed to receive so much support from the Chelsea community as a result of Grant’s autism. They hope that people will learn more about the disorder, look at autistic children without judgment, and understand that they also have unique strengths.
“We’re grieving,” Andrea said. “We’ve lost the perfect child. When you realize the hopes and dreams you had for your child are probably not possible … we just want him to have a fighting chance for the best possible life. Dr. Solomon says that we have to adopt a marathon attitude and not give up.”
Crystal Hayduk is a freelance writer for Heritage Newspapers.
Fundraiser
A golf outing, buffet lunch, and auctions (silent and live) will be held to raise funds to benefit Grant Bareis and others at the Autism Collaborative Center.
Where: Reddeman Farms Golf Club, 555 South Dancer Road, Chelsea
When: Aug. 7
What: Golf round - shotgun start at 8 a.m., includes snack, beverages, and buffet lunch/auction; $100 per golfer. Lunch and auction only at 1 p.m., $25 per person.
Call Patty at Reddeman Farms at 1-734-475-3020, or send an e-mail to takeaswingatau-tism@yahoo.com to register. Continued...
Checks can be made payable to “Take a Swing at Autism,” 6550 Conway Road, Chelsea, MI 48118.
Parents eagerly watch for first smiles and first words as their babies grow. They enjoy watching their toddlers sample new foods. Parents and children do simple things together, like grocery shopping, attending church, or visiting the park.
Michael and Andrea Bareis, long-time Chelsea School District educators and parents of three girls, expected to continue to their typical lifestyle when their son, Grant, was born nearly three years ago. But instead, watching his development left them with a gnawing suspicion that something was not right. And by the time he was 18 months old, that suspicion had become an icy fear.
“Grant never responded to his name,” Andrea said. “But his hearing checked out okay. He was able to say about 10 words, but then he suddenly stopped talking. He stopped eating any food except for pretzels. Instead, he ate sand, wood and rocks. He started banging his head, flapping his arms, lining up his toys, and having tantrums.”
When these behaviors first began, medical professionals told the Bareis’ that they had nothing to worry about. Excuses such as “he’s a boy” and “he’ll grow out of it” were an attempt to reassure the parents, but Andrea said that her experience as a teacher and as a mother of three other chil-dren told her that something was wrong.
In October 2009, Andrea’s friend and Grant’s godmother, Patty McCarthy, invited her to hear Dr. Richard Solomon speak at the Ann Arbor Public Library.
“When he showed his videos, I thought, ‘There’s my son!’” Bareis said.
In what she considers a minor miracle in avoiding the average six to 12 month wait to see the specialist, Solomon evaluated Grant in November and diagnosed him with autism.
“It was hard to hear the words and realize it’s true – it’s done,” she said.
The Bareis family learned that autism is a neurological disorder, with therapy similar to therapies used for people with brain injuries. Grant’s PLAY (Play and Language for Autistic Youth) therapy began in December.
“We have to be taught how to play with him to get any interaction and to promote engagement and language,” Michael Bareis said.
Grant receives only one PLAY visit a month, because at $400 for a three-hour visit, it’s a hefty bill. Andrea described the disappointment of another setback.
“Grant started feeding therapy at Mott Children’s Hospital in November, but after four sessions, we were asked not to bring him back because he had other overwhelming issues. It’s heart-breaking to think your child is finally going to be helped, and then to be turned away. We hope that at some point, he’ll be able to go back when the time is right.”
Bareis said that Dr. Solomon has told them that for Grant to have a fighting chance, he should have at least 25 hours of one-on-one therapy each week.
“We can afford two hours a week at the Autism Collaborative Center,” she said.
Michigan does not mandate that insurance companies pay for autism therapy. As a result, most insurance companies, including the Blue Cross/Blue Shield plan that Michael receives through the Chelsea School District, do not cover any treatment.
The family pays for Grant’s therapy out of their pocket. And it’s a tough balance to also provide for a family of six on one public school teacher’s salary.
Since Grant’s autistic behaviors began, life has changed for the Bareis family.
“When you have a new baby, you expect it to be difficult,” Bareis said. “But you think it’s going to be the normal difficult. Grant’s autism has divided our family. One of us does things with the girls (such as going to the store, to church, or the girls’ softball games) while the other one stays home with Grant.”
Bareis said it has been hard on their daughters, too.
“Every night the twins pray that Grant will learn to talk,” she said. “And I have to spend so much time with Grant – I have had to become his therapist instead of just his mom. Meghan says, ‘You never play with me – you always play with Grant.’ It’s hard to hear that, when giving one child what he needs means you’re not giving to the others.”
Michael said that he hopes one positive outcome to Grant’s autism will be that their daughters will grow up to be more sensitive and compassionate to the needs of others.
The Bareis family said said that they have been blessed to receive so much support from the Chelsea community as a result of Grant’s autism. They hope that people will learn more about the disorder, look at autistic children without judgment, and understand that they also have unique strengths.
“We’re grieving,” Andrea said. “We’ve lost the perfect child. When you realize the hopes and dreams you had for your child are probably not possible … we just want him to have a fighting chance for the best possible life. Dr. Solomon says that we have to adopt a marathon attitude and not give up.”
Crystal Hayduk is a freelance writer for Heritage Newspapers.
Fundraiser
A golf outing, buffet lunch, and auctions (silent and live) will be held to raise funds to benefit Grant Bareis and others at the Autism Collaborative Center.
Where: Reddeman Farms Golf Club, 555 South Dancer Road, Chelsea
When: Aug. 7
What: Golf round - shotgun start at 8 a.m., includes snack, beverages, and buffet lunch/auction; $100 per golfer. Lunch and auction only at 1 p.m., $25 per person.
Call Patty at Reddeman Farms at 1-734-475-3020, or send an e-mail to takeaswingatau-tism@yahoo.com to register.
Checks can be made payable to “Take a Swing at Autism,” 6550 Conway Road, Chelsea, MI 48118.
Michael and Andrea Bareis, long-time Chelsea School District educators and parents of three girls, expected to continue to their typical lifestyle when their son, Grant, was born nearly three years ago. But instead, watching his development left them with a gnawing suspicion that something was not right. And by the time he was 18 months old, that suspicion had become an icy fear.
“Grant never responded to his name,” Andrea said. “But his hearing checked out okay. He was able to say about 10 words, but then he suddenly stopped talking. He stopped eating any food except for pretzels. Instead, he ate sand, wood and rocks. He started banging his head, flapping his arms, lining up his toys, and having tantrums.”
When these behaviors first began, medical professionals told the Bareis’ that they had nothing to worry about. Excuses such as “he’s a boy” and “he’ll grow out of it” were an attempt to reassure the parents, but Andrea said that her experience as a teacher and as a mother of three other chil-dren told her that something was wrong.
In October 2009, Andrea’s friend and Grant’s godmother, Patty McCarthy, invited her to hear Dr. Richard Solomon speak at the Ann Arbor Public Library.
“When he showed his videos, I thought, ‘There’s my son!’” Bareis said.
In what she considers a minor miracle in avoiding the average six to 12 month wait to see the specialist, Solomon evaluated Grant in November and diagnosed him with autism.
“It was hard to hear the words and realize it’s true – it’s done,” she said.
The Bareis family learned that autism is a neurological disorder, with therapy similar to therapies used for people with brain injuries. Grant’s PLAY (Play and Language for Autistic Youth) therapy began in December.
“We have to be taught how to play with him to get any interaction and to promote engagement and language,” Michael Bareis said.
Grant receives only one PLAY visit a month, because at $400 for a three-hour visit, it’s a hefty bill. Andrea described the disappointment of another setback.
“Grant started feeding therapy at Mott Children’s Hospital in November, but after four sessions, we were asked not to bring him back because he had other overwhelming issues. It’s heart-breaking to think your child is finally going to be helped, and then to be turned away. We hope that at some point, he’ll be able to go back when the time is right.”
Bareis said that Dr. Solomon has told them that for Grant to have a fighting chance, he should have at least 25 hours of one-on-one therapy each week.
“We can afford two hours a week at the Autism Collaborative Center,” she said.
Michigan does not mandate that insurance companies pay for autism therapy. As a result, most insurance companies, including the Blue Cross/Blue Shield plan that Michael receives through the Chelsea School District, do not cover any treatment.
The family pays for Grant’s therapy out of their pocket. And it’s a tough balance to also provide for a family of six on one public school teacher’s salary.
Since Grant’s autistic behaviors began, life has changed for the Bareis family.
“When you have a new baby, you expect it to be difficult,” Bareis said. “But you think it’s going to be the normal difficult. Grant’s autism has divided our family. One of us does things with the girls (such as going to the store, to church, or the girls’ softball games) while the other one stays home with Grant.”
Bareis said it has been hard on their daughters, too.
“Every night the twins pray that Grant will learn to talk,” she said. “And I have to spend so much time with Grant – I have had to become his therapist instead of just his mom. Meghan says, ‘You never play with me – you always play with Grant.’ It’s hard to hear that, when giving one child what he needs means you’re not giving to the others.”
Michael said that he hopes one positive outcome to Grant’s autism will be that their daughters will grow up to be more sensitive and compassionate to the needs of others.
The Bareis family said said that they have been blessed to receive so much support from the Chelsea community as a result of Grant’s autism. They hope that people will learn more about the disorder, look at autistic children without judgment, and understand that they also have unique strengths.
“We’re grieving,” Andrea said. “We’ve lost the perfect child. When you realize the hopes and dreams you had for your child are probably not possible … we just want him to have a fighting chance for the best possible life. Dr. Solomon says that we have to adopt a marathon attitude and not give up.”
Crystal Hayduk is a freelance writer for Heritage Newspapers.
Fundraiser
A golf outing, buffet lunch, and auctions (silent and live) will be held to raise funds to benefit Grant Bareis and others at the Autism Collaborative Center.
Where: Reddeman Farms Golf Club, 555 South Dancer Road, Chelsea
When: Aug. 7
What: Golf round - shotgun start at 8 a.m., includes snack, beverages, and buffet lunch/auction; $100 per golfer. Lunch and auction only at 1 p.m., $25 per person.
Call Patty at Reddeman Farms at 1-734-475-3020, or send an e-mail to takeaswingatau-tism@yahoo.com to register.
Checks can be made payable to “Take a Swing at Autism,” 6550 Conway Road, Chelsea, MI 48118.
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Comments
The following are comments from the readers. In no way do they represent the view of Heritage Newspapers.
Taximom wrote on Jul 21, 2010 9:49 PM:
" Not all of us have had luck with ABA--many of us have gone slightly different routes from the general standard medical management of autism--and our kids are the ones who actually get better.
One of the most important thing you can do for your autistic child is to try a 100% gluten-free, casein-free diet. There is a wonderful book that can help with this: Special Diets for Special Kids, by Lisa Lewis. PLEASE do this as soon as possible--most autistic kids make enormous progress when their intestines aren't causing them horrible pain. But it has to be 100%--just like a peanut allergy.
If you can't afford speech therapy, you might be able to have a college student majoring in special ed come to your house,under the direction of a licenced speech therapist--they will get college credit, your child will get HELP.
Many autistic kids are very talented musically. If you can't afford aural processing therapy, you might be able to afford Suzuki violin lessons--which basically work on the same processing as aural processing therapy, except the kids come out of it with a skill AND learn a lot of social skills. (And you can sign all the kids in the family up!)
Some children's drama programs accept mildly autistic kids--and this, in some ways, can be BETTER than speech therapy. Think about it--drama programs teach appropriate dialog, vocal expression, facial expression, body language, role play--it's everything they need!Again, you might be able to have a college drama student come to your house.
Best of luck to Grant and family "
One of the most important thing you can do for your autistic child is to try a 100% gluten-free, casein-free diet. There is a wonderful book that can help with this: Special Diets for Special Kids, by Lisa Lewis. PLEASE do this as soon as possible--most autistic kids make enormous progress when their intestines aren't causing them horrible pain. But it has to be 100%--just like a peanut allergy.
If you can't afford speech therapy, you might be able to have a college student majoring in special ed come to your house,under the direction of a licenced speech therapist--they will get college credit, your child will get HELP.
Many autistic kids are very talented musically. If you can't afford aural processing therapy, you might be able to afford Suzuki violin lessons--which basically work on the same processing as aural processing therapy, except the kids come out of it with a skill AND learn a lot of social skills. (And you can sign all the kids in the family up!)
Some children's drama programs accept mildly autistic kids--and this, in some ways, can be BETTER than speech therapy. Think about it--drama programs teach appropriate dialog, vocal expression, facial expression, body language, role play--it's everything they need!Again, you might be able to have a college drama student come to your house.
Best of luck to Grant and family "
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